Talking Mango: Blog » I think I think too much

Where’s my epiphany?

TalkingMango — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 23:06:52 +0000

I almost wished that this was my PostSecret postcard but you can rest assured that it is not mine for I will never use pink on anything. Thank you to the person who send in this secret, you are my hero to admitting and we are not alone. I have to admit that my struggle of not knowning what I want to be when I grow up has become World War IV within myself.

A time for change

TalkingMango — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:51:56 +0000

Finally, I finished coding my new layout and put it up. Pretty clean and neat, don’t you think? I really like how clean it is but the header is funky in it’s own good way. I love it. And I hope you get why there is a little mouth toy there. …Talking Mango. Get it? This is what happens when you start designing way pass midnight – weird things happen. I’ll most likely make some tweaks throughout the week or so but for now, it’s the finished product. I plan on expanding this website much more in the future. Drop a comment if anyone is interested in exchanging links or blog swapping.

On a more personal level, week 1 of my second year in college has started. I’m not sure if I’m made for this. It’s so daunting and intimidating but I’m taking baby steps to try to make it through. I’m looking into a marketing career beside a teaching career. If I were a parent, I wouldn’t want my kid to be taught by someone like me, only because I know who I am. There’s still a lot I have to think about. I feel like its hard to get somewhere in life when you don’t know where you want to go. Step 1: find where to end up.

This is a good improvement for me already since before this, I had no idea I wanted to do. I guess baby steps are working after all. What do you want to be when you grow up? And if you’re already grown up, what did you wanted to be – and did it happen?

To faux or not to faux leather?

TalkingMango — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 10:15:43 +0000

I am looking to fall in love…with a leather hoodie – SO BAD, that I’m willing to give up the rest of my shopping days for the next three months. Of course I don’t want a leather hoodie to break my bank, but I feel like I need it so bad and the prefect one will. I feel like I’ve been cornered in and the choices are cough up the dough or go faux. Say What?

Before anyone calls me outrageous, ridiculous or stupid – hear me out. I put some thought into this. Yes, I do think the prefect leather hoodie is supposed to made out of 100% leather – cow, sheep, etc. etc. I feel the quality is worth the price. But it seems like I’ve been informed after many hours of research that faux can provide just the same.

Is this what it has come to? I have to start being a fake budget fashionista? Okay – I admit it, I’m not the most fashionable person ever. But the only reason excuse I have so far is because I don’t have the extra cash to spend on pretty fashionable things. But when has “pretty” become the synonym for “expensive”? I know that cannot be true because I’ve seen some of the ugliest purses ever and they were worn thousands. My Burberry Chester fell apart in two weeks after purchasing it from a retailer and that was worth a little over $600. Thank goodness for a return policy.

But back to whether to faux or not faux leather. The things stopping me? A couple of rules I have when it comes to shopping for clothes and personal style.

Never, ever buy a counterfeit, inspired, knock off or fake anything and everything. You just look cheap and you’re mocking the authentic ones.
Do not wear tights or leggings (because those two are different!) as pants. Please cover your crotch and butt at all times, thank you.
Learn to splurge and learn when to save! Don’t buy junk to save money because in the end those bad investments wear and tear and you’re out to spend again. Bras-splurge, Colored jeans-save.
If you can’t wear a bra with it – don’t wear it at all. I like to keep my girls covered most of the time.

Will my only option of going faux leather break my rules? But wait, faux leather is not a fake leather jacket of another brand or it is inspired … unless it is but it’s not. It’s not like I’m going in and buying a fake Mike & Chris jacket in Chinatown. I’m going into a store and buying a real faux leather jacket from say…Zara or Asos. So number 1 is taken care of. And God forbid me break number 2 and 4 with just a jacket. I’m iffy on number 3. I should make this into a good investment right? Because it should last me the years to come…

Too bad I sworn off of Forever 21 clothes. But now I look back, my black go-with-everything cardigan did last me through a good two years. How can I call that quality cheap? But I want a leather jacket that will last me through the cold winters and years to come. It might be a trend for this year, but it’s classic that’s going to in-n-out forever, like pea coats. They have the perfect faux leather (actually come to think of it I think it was made out of something and cotton…) hoodie ever. It’s a bit thin but I can layer it up. I don’t want it to fall apart and I don’t want every single girl on campus to have it neither.

This is so frustrating. I blame The Shopaholic series and Sex & The City for my shopping habits. I do not want to be like Carrie Bradshaw when I’m older and have only $700 in my savings account but have $40,000 worth of shoes in my closet. But I feel like if I don’t splurge now that I have the money – later when I don’t I can’t. But if I splurge now – I might not even have a tomorrow.

This is all too silly. I think I’ve made up my mind. Expect me to change it at least 10 times before I make final decision. Stick around – see what I end up purchasing it.

Hanging in there

TalkingMango — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:38:44 +0000

I’m still hanging in there and trying to adjust to the life of living on my own (or more like with a couple of friends). I thought last year was the last of learning to adjust to new environments like the dorm, college classes, campus, etc. But I guess this year it’s twice as hard and not as much fun. Now I live in an apartment I have to think about furniture, rent, bills, BILLS, and BILLS. Okay, if I haven’t gotten the point across and clear, bills are a big whammy.

It’s amazing how smiles turn into frowns when it comes to situation of money. I think money is nothing but a problem. It’s true isn’t it? When we don’t have money we spend hours looking at which new gizmos and latest fashion we can go buy after we get our paycheck. And when we do have money, we have a problem to where we should buy our gizmos and latest fashion at the best value. Or is all this just me?

Let’s not talk about things we do need (need vs. wants!) and talk about the things we do. We need a bare minimum of a place to stay, something to wear, food to eat, water to drink, running water, electricity and gas, and what else? Just the bare minimum ends up costing a whole lot. As a college student living with some finanical aid and $8.50 an hour job who only gets around 20 hours a week just isn’t enough. Well it would be enough in most cities, but here I live in Irvine. You know, Orange County’s Irvine. Irvine is ranked to be one of the most expensive living cost cities out there. Hello! Which part of “I am a college student” didn’t anyone understand?! I don’t have a choice but to live in Irvine because I go to school here. Budget cuts affecting the school isn’t helping much neither.

So what’s after college? I spend thousands of dollars living in a city I can not afford, go to a school and get an education I could of gotten elsewhere and spend the rest of my life as a teacher – bitter and angry about my college years. It’s college. I WANT to have a real college experience. I’m sick of sitting here all day and studying and/or working. I need to stop complaining and DO something about it. But I can’t all in all. Why? Because I’m too busy working and studying. I need to stop this cycle, quick!

Teaching as a career?

TalkingMango — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 23:32:46 +0000

Finally, I am glad to be at home and have access to the internet. I can finally get some things done and cross them out of my to-do list. I’m not sure how people before the age of internet lived, but I can’t ever imagine living without it. There’s just some things that just change people’s lives and there’s no way of going back to how things used to be done. That’s how I feel sometimes. I want to change someone’s life and have them see that from now on it’s a one way street to happiness and goodness.

The idea of what career I will lead in my life is still a big question mark. I’m so used to working part time jobs that don’t mean anything more than just a bi-weekly paycheck to pay rent and buy food. I used to have such a specific career in mind but once I entered college and finished my first year, those dreams died. It’s so sad to see those dreams die because of one’s inabilities or lack of will to work hard. All I know is that I want to work with people and I want to inspire someone/change someone’s lives.

At first I thought about working in the mental health industry. But for now, that doesn’t seem so appealing and I’m not sure why. I’m a psychology major and it’s appealing and all but the career doesn’t seem so great anymore. I thought about teaching. I love working with children (or I think I do?). I don’t want to graduate with just a Psychology major. I tried to pick up a Biology minor but things didn’t work out as planned. I looked a little into an Education minor and that seems appealing. I think I’ll sign up for JumpStart this year at school and maybe take a CalTeach class to see if this is something I really want to get into.

Teaching seems really good right now because I love how there’s a summer break, weekends and you only teach during school hours. I can do all my paper work at home or… get some TAs. I’m creative (or I think I am) and I feel like I have a lot to offer to these kids. I want them to look back when they are older and be like “Wow I really like Ms.__ because she inspired me to _______” or “Take Ms.__, she’s the coolest!” I have a couple teachers that have inspired me to do some nice things. I want to teach these kids more than just what’s in the book. Life lessons. Arts & crafts! Everything! Plus, I love to talk and have people listen to me. These kids would be great. It would be a double whammy of beneficial.

The only thing stopping me? I feel like people who teach are overworked and underpaid and most of all underappreicated. There’s nothing wrong with people who teach. Teachers are the selfless ones that are giving their all to help your children and yet parents and other professions look down on them. Who’s going to teach your kids if everyone looks down on them and no one wants to be a teacher in the end? That’s right. I know I can’t change the view of people on teachers but I can change the lives of the next generation to understand. I want to inspire them. I want to be that difference!

All in all, I still have a headache over everything.